The 12 days of Christmas

On the 12th day of Christmas my family gave to me, nonstop whining tantrums and screams of rage that were ugly.

On the 11th day of Christmas my family gave to me, smelly toots and skid-marked underwear that’s dirty.

On the 10th day of Christmas my family gave to me, the never-ending cold and I can’t stop coughing please pity me.

On the 9th day of Christmas my family gave to me, panick attacks a plenty and horrific anxiety.

On the 8th day of Christmas my family gave to me, a completely destroyed house to clean before the last minute party.

On the 7th day of Christmas my children gave to me, nonstop night waking will we ever get to sleep again we’ll see.

On the 6th day of Christmas my family gave to me, last minute hosting please come take my last bit of sanity.

On the 5th day of Christmas you can find me, closet eating chocolate and I will not share with thee.

On the 4th day of Christmas wrapping gave to me, paper cuts a plenty and I’m getting really bitchy.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my family gave to me, 1 psychotic break can you find a program to take me.

On the 2nd day of Christmas my doggies gave to me, 2 nights of explosive diarrhea completely dripping off their crate yippie.

On the 1st day of Christmas my toddler gave to me, puking 4 steps in the door, Christmas is shaping up to be a God damn catastrophe!

Merry Christmas everyone 🎄

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